Pornography is full of fakery and falsehoods. Duh. Inexperienced viewers might be shocked by the size of body parts, cirque-du-soleil balancing acts, hairlessness, stamina, or any other of the super-human mirages that porn performers create through biological freakdom, plastic enhancements, and clever camera work. In this nest of exaggerations, is there anything to be learned from these performers? After all, they do for a living what most of us only do for fun.
Malcolm Gladwell has said you need 10,000 hours of practice to achieve unparalleled excellence. Are porn performers to sex what Bill Gates is to computers or Wayne Gretzky is to a hockey stick? Eh… probably not. There’s too much other garbage clouding the pornographic waters to really make a case for expertise. Nonetheless, I found several nuggets of brilliance in a series of interviews that Fleshbot conducted from the floor of the AVN Awards (Oscars of Porn).
Nina Hartley, Photo: The Humanist
Ann Marie Rios – “Talk to your partner. Like… lot of people don’t talk. A lot of people have sex with people but they’re afraid to tell them what they want, or what they don’t like, or how to touch me here or there. And people aren’t mindreaders.”
India Summer – “Be sexy in your own way, don’t let anyone else tell you what it sexy, because not everyone is the same.”
Nina Hartley – “Do the personal work to conquer your own fear and anxiety demons about sexuality.”
Bibi Jones - “Have chemistry. Before you do a scene, kind of talk to that person, say your dos and don’ts and then everything goes perfect.”
Dana DeArmand – “Don’t be afraid to say what you want. Communication is really key to safe consensual sex, no matter how vanilla or kinky it can be.”
Nica Noelle – “Don’t fuck like pornstars.”
Maybe not so grammatically correct (ahem, Bibi), or eloquently put (except you, Nina Hartley… damn you’re awesome), but there is truth there, don’t you think? It’s not earth-shattering advice, but it comes straight from the experts. Or should I say, sex-perts…. no, I really shouldn’t.
Related Post: Can a male porn star be a feminist? I think so! I will tell you why over at Smart Girls!
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I’ve watched my abundant share of porn and I say that if fucking like porn stars (if one can do it that way) works, then do it. If it doesn’t, then don’t. Any logical person “should” understand that porn, as with all scripted medium, is not based on reality and if people who watch porn think it’s the standard, then they really need more sexual experience ’cause it’s the only way they can discern fact from reality.
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