Why “No Means No” Is Too Low a Bar

The Good Men Project is doing a package on sexual assault and rape this week. Let’s all knock on some wood that I can’t contribute to this conversation with personal anecdotes. Does that mean I stayed out of the conversation? Of course not.

I wrote a letter to my brother… sort of. It was sparked by a conversation we had, but it isn’t really about him, per se. It’s about college and hook-up culture, and the various douchey ways that people try to convince other people to have sex with them. It’s about the fact that whether you’re being convinced or you’re doing the convincing, something’s wrong with the situation. It’s about not looking for people who will let you have sex with them, and instead looking for people who want to have sex with you. It’s about how “no means no” is too low a bar to set, and how we need to listen for and vocalize an enthusiastic, sustained “yes!”

Related Post: Is porn a dealbreaker in relationships? I have some thoughts.

Related Post: This story about the worst things in hook-up culture will give you the shivers.

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8 Comments

Filed under Education, Family, Sex

8 responses to “Why “No Means No” Is Too Low a Bar

  1. This was a really wonderful piece, Rosie. Your brother is lucky to have you for a sister.

  2. That was great. You are a cool sister.
    Reading the comments was… “interesting”. I think Colin has some serious issues to deal with. I hope he works it out.

  3. Pingback: How Many People Have You Slept With? Yeah… Don’t Care. | rosiesaysblog

  4. aviatrixkim

    Very well said.

  5. Pingback: We blog, therefore we are. Or are we? « The Greenery

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