“Women Can Get Laid Anytime They Want” and other things people say

On the internet, I get a lot of pushback when I write about sex and gender from guys who say things like “It’s not fair, women can have sex whenever they want!”, “Women are the gatekeepers,” “You don’t have to work for it,” etc. If it were only dudes on the internet that spouted this rhetoric, I’d write them off as idiot trolls.

But it’s not just misogynistic commenters and entitled jerks online who think this kind of thing; I hear it from real guys too, the normal ones, the nice ones, the ones who I know to be decent humans. The thing I think they’re all missing is that finding any old someone who wants to get down doesn’t exactly guarantee any magic will happen. That’s not to say  you can’t stumble on to awesome amazingtimez with a one-night stand, only that what many women want (need?) to enjoy sex isn’t what a lot of those one-night standers are offering.

Today at Role/Reboot I wrote about how “getting laid” might be easy, but “getting laid” is sometimes a pretty low, unappealing bar. It’s not hard to find someone casual who wants to get it in, it is hard to find someone casual who wants to get you going.

What Does _Getting Laid_ Really Mean?

Related Post: A flow chart about first-date sex. 

Related Post: Last week I reviewed a bootycall app.

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2 Comments

Filed under Gender, Republished!, Sex

2 responses to ““Women Can Get Laid Anytime They Want” and other things people say

  1. Ali

    men largely face rejection far more than women. Men still do much of the asking out, women generally don’t—unless you are some perceived alpha that other women are tripping over themselves to date/have sex/have a relationship with. Women will often go after what other women want; the goal of getting a man that other women desire is no exception. Regardless of his worth, a man who as a potential harem of sorts has women after him because other women value him.

    But this is not common at all. Even so-called liberated women will often expect men to initiate and face rejection. Hypergamy is a subject that comes up on many MGTOW boards and videos; women that claim they want equality can be summed up by their hypocrisy by a couple of things; desiring to get a higher status man, and expecting men to do the work gaining her approval while she has veto power. By having this choice, it shunts the onus onto men while women do not have to face the pain of rejection; they are in the driver’s seat, while men have to sink or swim. The righteousness in this dynamic is frustrating; women can be petty and nitpick about the dumbest crap in mate selection while not sharing the same level of approval winning.

    In reality, many (if not most) women take rejection worse than men. Men have to inure themselves to it; hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

    Let’s face it. Despite complaints to the contrary, even women of subpar physical looks, low-paying jobs, and other flaws can snatch a man far easier than a man in the same equivalence. Hell, even a man of higher attributes often have difficulty in dating and attracting a suitable mate. Women typically do not date/marry down as much, while men are supposed to demonstrate clemency to women that are of lesser socioeconomic status as them.

    Since women have a better time attracting men, many believe that men can pick up women with the same ease and frequency. This is nonsense; men have to prove themselves far more unless they are at the top of the heap. There are women who complain about the quality of men out there, but they are usually focusing on a narrow spectrum of men. Even a recent article stated that anyone outside of being white collar are “non-negotiable” as far as dates are concerned—they are not dating material these pseudo-elist women mentioned in the post. Nevermind that many blue collar men can make good money, but I digress.

    Looking into it further, the typical moaning and bitching often includes that men aren’t even “manning up” to improve themselves and make themselves more potentially good date/mate material. Of course, there are women who decry that men will not take up their responsibilities. When Western culture is swimming in misandry, it’s not too hard to understand why men will not “man up” in first place. When being loyal, honorable, honest, hard-working, genteel, and generous is not mutually rewarded or even outright exploited, a man seeing clearly will wise up.

    This is evident with the dating scene as well. The cards are stacked against men, and there are women who will not give up their social and personal power so easily . . . even if it harms them in the short term. They are refusing to accept that there are men who will not let their own self-respect dwindle or be used in the dating process while sweety wants to reap the rewards. If some sort of mutual equity was widespread, it would be different, but it is not the environment we observe now.

    A good friend of mine summed up things nicely, although he was speaking about the workplace when he was getting the brunt of crap jobs and lost much of his motivation when he knew it was a losing battle to hold on to his job at the time: If you don’t care, why should I. There are women out there that do not want to understand this about men, and will continue to blunder and largely blame men while living in denial about what is actually happening.

    Over the years, the shaming language loses it effect, and the women that are upset that men would rather play an X-Box in their thirties or keep their money for retirement. Women need acknowledge why this is more common rather than remaining smug and single (all the while still thinking about men at every turn). In the mating dance, even with the dating scene, it’s not being intimidated by a “strong, independent” woman that stops men from approaching/making the first move. Those same men are tired of running the gauntlet for little result, disappointed by the arbitrary whims, never being good enough, and the exhaustive and trivial lists judgmental women draw up for them. And who can blame them?

  2. Pingback: That Shit’s Complicated Too | rosiesaysblog

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