Tag Archives: music

Beyonce: World Domination or “Gyrating in a Black Teddy”?

True confessions: I didn’t watch the Superbowl. My book club obliviously picked Sunday to discuss Behind the Beautiful Forevers, and it turns out that we’re nerds who would rather talk about the ethics of Western reporters covering Indian slums and journalist “truthiness” than watch the Ravens and that other team.

That said, of course I had to watch the Beyonce half-time show, and of course I had to see which commercial out-misogynyed all the rest (Go Daddy, was the answer, by the way). So this week, for Role/Reboot I wrote about Beyonce, owning your sexuality, Peggy Orenstein, horrible ads, and National Review’s Kathryn Jean Lopez.

Why Beyonce Made Me Proud To Be A Woman

I would like to note, for the record, I did not choose the title.

Related Post: Grantland writes about divas.

Related Post: The power of Amy Poehler

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Filed under Art, Gender, Republished!, Sports

What if it were an 18-year-old female pop star talking about her sex life?

Remember that plug in Jailbreak the Patriarchy? It’s been too long since we gender swapped the internet, don’t you think?

A few weeks ago, Harry Styles, the 18-year-old member of the pipsqueak band One Direction, was interviewed by OK about his sexual history. He speaks quite candidly his safe sex habits and about how the first time he had sex, he was “terrified” that he might have gotten his partner pregnant (even though they used condoms).

Generally, I think it’s none of my business who celebrities are having sex with or how, but if we’re going to talk about it, I kind of love Styles for talking about it like this. It’s matter of fact, it’s honest, and it reinforces the idea that safe sex can be sexy (at least as sexy as mop-topped teenagers). But just take a minute and imagine the reaction if an 18-year-old female pop star spoke in exactly the same way. Genderswapping in 3, 2, 1….

“She is a bona fide heartthrob with all the male attention any young woman could want. But Harry Styles has revealed that she was not always that confident or experienced with men. The One Direction star has revealed how after the first time she had sex she was terrified she may have gotten pregnant. Speaking to OK! magazine, she said: ‘The first time I had sex, I was scared I got pregnant. And that was despite the fact we were safe. Luckily, we were fine.”

Harry, 18, has built up a reputation as quite a manizer but despite the many rumours she admitted that she always practices safe sex. She told the magazine: ‘I would never risk not [having him] wear a condom, it’s too much of a risk. If you’re not ready for a child, then don’t risk it.”

Can you ever imagine reading that about Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato? Even from the mouth of a 25-year-old actress I would floored to see such sexual candor in print. Here’s what jumps out to me:

  • “Having all the male attention she could want” – Women are expected to shy away from attention, to minimize it, or at least pretend it’s not what they’re seeking. It’s completely acceptable for a male pop star to admit that he enjoys it.
  • “Being experienced with men.” – How many people read this and kind of smirked. “Experienced with men” is code for slutty, right? If a woman were to claim that she was experienced, especially a teenager, she would absolutely pilloried for setting a horrifying example for her fans.
  • “Manizer.” - Ha. Genderswap doesn’t even have a word for this. You know why? It’s because a “manizer” is another code word for “slut.”
  • Safety - When a 18-year-old guy swears by prophylactics, he’s a responsible, stand-up guy (and seriously, if he’s telling the truth, good for him!). If an 18-year-old girl swears by contraception, she gets Sandra Fluked (who, by the way, is 31).

The goal here is not to berate Styles for being sexually active or to idolize him for his avowed commitment to condoms. The point here is to acknowledge how differently we treat burgeoning sexuality among teenaged boys and girls.

Related Post: Genderswapping the Marissa Mayer Yahoo announcement.

Related Post: The week in feminism, Taylor Swift and more.

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Filed under Gender, Media, Sex

Sunday Scraps 80

1. WOMEN: A slew of famous and not-s0-famous ladies (Lena Dunham, Tavi Gevinson, Tracee Ellis-Ross) lip sync to Leslie Gore’s 1963 classic “You Don’t Own Me” to protest the GOP’s anti-vagina policies.

2. ICELAND: Can a constitution be crowdsourced? Iceland thinks so, incorporating ideas and suggestions from Facebook and Twitter into their new document.

3. HALLOWEEN: Comedians Emotistyle have a break-out hit on their hands with soon-to-be-classic Halloween anthem “Things You Can Be on Halloween Besides Naked!”

4. ECONOMY: McSweeney’s, of all places, has a really clear, interesting, well-articulated essay from economist Robert Dittmar on why we’re in debt. I think I might get it…

5. BREAKING BAD: Taylor Swift + Breaking Bad = This parody video on the dissolution of the Walter/Jesse relationship, “We Are Never Going to Cook Together.”

6. COLBERT: God, Stephen Colbert is so freakin’ smart. For Playboy, he’s interviewed about his history with family tragedy, maintaining two personas, and how he still convinces people to be on his show.

Related Post: Sunday 79: The Clintons, Harper Lee and Oprah, and Spanish immigration.

Related Post: Sunday 78: Reddit trolls, Stop and Frisk, Rebel Wilson

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Filed under Advertising, Gender, Hollywood, Media, Politics, Really Good Writing by Other People

The Week in Feminism: Carrie, Kelly, and Taylor

I’ve written about it before, but feminism has an image problem. Perhaps we just need a well-executed PR campaign, some subway signs, some PSAs, a clever video series featuring a wide and attractive cast of celebrities. We’ll call it, “I’m a Feminist, and You Are Too!”

Three cases this week of celebrities discussing their feminism, or lack of it, are worth exploring:

The Good: Carrie Preston in NYMag

Preston, most well known for True Blood and a guest role on The Good Wife, just directed That’s What She Said, a comedy starring three women, based on a play written by a woman, that deals with sex and sexuality and, apparently, subways. She said:

“Movies don’t usually address any of that [references a yeast infection], any of the stuff that we do. Here’s a woman holding up a centerfold, shaving, trying to live up to an ideal, and you know she’s not going to. She represents many, many women in the world that Hollywood will never give a leading role to.

Interviewer: Unless you’re Melissa McCarthy.

And then they make an exception. And I’m glad that’s happening. But it’s very rare. As a feminist and a woman who believes in representing all females in film, I thought the only way to do that is to make it happen yourself. If we sent Kellie’s script to Hollywood, this would not be the cast. They would just want someone who puts glasses on and goes, “Oops! I’m adorkable!”

God, I love her so much. Feminism isn’t just about money, it’s about image, and autonomy, and understanding the pressures we put on women that severely limit what they think they can do and be and look like.

The Not-Great-But-I’ll-Take-It: Kelly Clarkson in The Daily Star

In an interview on why Clarkson, a lifelong Republican, is voting for Obama, she said:

 “I’ve been reading online about the debates and I’m probably going to vote for Obama again, even though I’m a Republican at heart. I can’t support Romney’s policies as I have a lot of gay friends and I don’t think it’s fair they can’t get married. I’m not a hardcore feminist but we can’t be going back to the 50s.”

This is a textbook case of feminism’s image problem. What exactly is a hardcore feminist? Bra-burning? Armpit-hair-growing? Man-hating? Obviously, Clarkson is none of these things, but neither am I, and I’m a feminist. Feminism, as most third-wavers define it, is exactly aligned with Clarkson’s ideals (equality and fairness for all, refusal to revert to the 1950s). She could be a huge advocate for modern feminism, but Clarkson is deterred from proudly joining the club because of her perception that it is full of “hardcore” extremists.

The Ugly: Taylor Swift in the Daily Beast

Swift just released a new album which, by all accounts, will fly off the shelves. In her victory tour, she was interviewed by Ramin Setoodeh. While discussing heartbreak and writing from the heart, there was this:

Setoodeh: Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Swift: I don’t really think about things as guys versus girls. I never have. I was raised by parents who brought me up to think if you work as hard as guys, you can go far in life.

Man oh man. So, so many things are wrong with this. On the surface, we’ve got the basic assumption that feminism is about men vs. women (which we know it’s not), that old standby that continues to rear its ugly head. Feminism is about equality and access to opportunity.

The subtext here is more damaging; “work as hard as guys” implies that in the past, women weren’t working as hard as guys, and all they had to do was man-up and equality would be theirs. The fundamentals here are that guys work hard, so they are successful, and girls don’t work as hard, which is why they don’t get as far. Forget centuries of discrimination, forget the wage gap, forget all that jazz. It’s just a question of hard work. This is the same bogus argument people make about black people or poor people. If only they worked harder, like those of us who were born with some advantages, they wouldn’t be quite so poor.

Related Post: Does The Good Wife out-feminist Parks and Rec?

Related Post: Just another story I’ve been ignoring.

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Filed under Gender, Hollywood, Media

Sunday Scraps 77

1. GENDER: The Stranger has brilliantly skewered Rolling Stone’s annual “Women Who Rock” issue by turning the tables and throwing the dudes a bunch of ridiculous softball questions.

2. WEDDINGS: As a soon-to-be maid-of-honor, I was tickled horrified by this bride’s instructional email to her bridesmaids (Gawker).

3. FOOTBALL: Now that this ref strike is over, hear how it went from the scab side with a Time interview with replacement ref Jerry Frump.

4. POLITICS: Apparently, some foreign governments are learning about democracy through viewings of The West Wing. The Atlantic explains why this is perhaps not the most realistic model…

5. WEIGHT: Author Jennifer Weiner writes for Allure. What’s a fat mom to do when her thin daughter pulls a Mean Girl move and calls another girl fat?

6. RAHIEL: Urban Cusp founder Rahiel Tesfamariam, born in Eritrea, now an internet celeb, sums up her epic tweet series on her path to success.

Related Post: Sunday 76: fast food nation, Zadie Smith, xkcd, and Vice Magazine.

Related Post: Sunday 75: Moms-in-chief, best word ever, library tattoos

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Filed under Art, Body Image, Gender, Media, Politics, Really Good Writing by Other People, Sports

Can I Listen to Chris Brown with a Clear Conscience?

New piece up today at Role/Reboot on how to consume entertainment ethically, or how to decide it’s just too exhausting and go back to enjoying your Chris Brown club jamz.

This essay was inspired by a really great New York Mag piece by Will Leitch in which he wonders whether the we have reached or will reach a limit on our football consumption. As the game gets more dangerous and the dangers get more obvious, will we reach a point where we’re not willing to condone the industry’s malpractices even in exchange for really good television?

“But as the evidence mounts and the voices become louder, every NFL observer has to, at one point, ask himself: Is it immoral to be a football fan? Can an intelligent, engaged, socially conscious person put the way he sees the world in every other context aside because he enjoys watching the Giants on Sunday? Those are legitimate questions, because you can’t just pretend anymore. Every time there’s a big hit on the field, I can’t keep my human side—the part that wonders what that’ll mean for the player when he’s 45—quiet anymore. Forget your own kid playing football. The ­question is whether anyone’s kid should.”

The bottom line here is not that we should all stop dancing and bow our heads in protest when a Chris Brown song comes on, or that football fans should boycott the league until the suicides, concussions, and other traumas are reigned in. The bottom line is that it would serve us all well to think a little more carefully about where our entertainment comes from, what prices we’re willing to pay, and what cost is simply too high.

Related Post: Ladies only fantasy football.

Related Post: I play football for Pitt, please don’t arrest me.

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Filed under Art, Hollywood, Media, Really Good Writing by Other People, Republished!

Sunday Scraps 46

1. DISNEY: The most epic Disney a capella medley ever. Costume changes included. Prepare yourself, it’s seven minutes long.

2. TAPE: Artist Max Zorn uses only brown packing tape and a scalpel to make these images.

3. TECH: Geek out with me over this sweet graph tracking browser usage. Watch the life and death of AOL, the rise of Mozilla, and ridiculous longevity of Internet Explorer.

4. SAVAGE: Dan Savage + Ira Glass. Done and done.

5. WHALES: Salon has a fascinating look at the history and veracity of the man-in-whale folklore. Is it possible to come out the other side, as so many myths would suggest?

6. CHOICE: Really excellent essay about why pro-life advocate John Saveland supports Planned Parenthood. Imagine how much further this conversation could go if everyone employed such rationality and logic!

Related Post: Sunday 45: Peggy Orenstin, Tim Gunn, and Loving family photos.

Related Post: Sunday 44: Tween feminists, booty call rules, Margaret Cho

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Filed under Art, Politics, Really Good Writing by Other People, Sex

Who Needs Santa?

Merry merry and all of that. I have returned from a snowless, but otherwise joyful, Christmas in Massachusetts. All traditions were observed with the proper decorum. These included, but were not limited to:

1. Cranberry Coffee Cake and Mimosas

2. N Sync for the Holidays

No joke… we listen to this every year and it is the shit. Plus, this video has both the worst frosted tips and the worst green-screening of all time.

3. The Two Family Christmas Relocation Program – All you joint custody kids know what I’m talking about.

4. Gingerbread Houses (Milk cartons covered with graham crackers, frosting and butt load of candy. There is no gingerbread involved).

Mine is the one with the car in the garage

There was even some half-assed Hannukah to be had. In my family, that involves arguing over which direction you light the candles, a butchered recitation of the Hannukah prayer led by the Hebrew expert of the family (me, HAH), and the reading of our sacred text, Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins. I do most of the reading up until the King of Goblins arrives, and then my dad jumps in because he really enjoys shouting. In Hershel, the King of the Goblins’ dialogue is written in all-caps, so you know he means business.

I’ve had some interesting conversations lately about which, if any, of the Santa myths I plan to perpetuate with my hypothetical children. It’s a question I’d never considered, despite being inordinately prone to considering how I will and won’t raise my hypothetical kids.

The jolly fat man stuff doesn’t strike me as an important holiday tradition to pass along, especially when I’ve got all this other outstanding stuff that’s actually unique to my family. Come on, N’Sync for the Holidays? Hershel and the Hannukah Goblins? Who needs Santa?

Related Post: I attempted to do most of my shopping at local businesses.

Related Post: More hypothetical musing on things that won’t happen for a real long time….

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Sunday Scraps 41

1. EQUALITY: How can we combat the misguided and preposterous belief that allowing gays to marry will someone lead the way to people marrying toasters, dogs, and dead people? A handy diagram to hand out to all your idiot friends.

2. LIBRARY: Flavorwire has a highly subjective list of the 25 most beautiful college libraries. I’m not going to argue though, because Harper is #8.

3. PUBES: Ever wonder about the history of pubic hair? Yeah, me too. The Atlantic takes a historical approach the current trend of ripping it all out.

4. FASHION: Blogger Marissa at New Dress A Day buys heinously ugly dresses and revamps each and every one to make something contemporary and wearable. And she does this every day.

5. ADORBS: Even babies who don’t know any words can mimic the speech patterns of rap music. So freaking cute (and so is the dad….).

6. LEGO: Lego is launching a new line of girls toys called Lego Friends. Businessweek investigates the origins of the new line and Lego’s history with shoving the pink crap in the corner.

Related Post: Sunday 40 = Louis C.K. on daughters, NPR’s imaginary faces, bellies.

Related Post: Sunday 39 = Siri drama, boozing at work, a library artwork mystery of international proportions.

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Filed under Sex, Politics, Gender, Really Good Writing by Other People, Books, Education, Chicago

Michelle Bachmann and the Politics of “Bitch”

This week on The Good Men Project I wrote about Michelle Bachmann’s appearance on Jimmy Fallon this week. As you may be aware, the in-house band (The Roots) accompanied her march on stage with an incomprehensible version of Fishbone’s “Lyin’ Ass Bitch.” I’m no fan of Bachmann’s, but I still think this crosses a line. Here’s why:

Related Post: DADT is one of those things that Bachmann and I disagree on. What if your partner deployed, and you couldn’t say I love?

Related Post: What’s in a name? Here’s my GMP post about modern naming conventions.

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