Tag Archives: presidential race

Pie and Wine, Relief and Fear

It’s over, and good riddance! Can we just wash our hands of the whole campaign season, of looping attack ads, of misquotes, of rape philosophizing, of spray-tans, of soundbites, of punditry, of Gallup and Rasmussen? Wouldn’t that be nice?

But the work isn’t over, so said President Obama on Tuesday night, and he’s obviously right. In the waves of relief and gratitude and joy and thank-fucking-God-it’s-over, there was also fear. At least, there was for me. That’s what I wanted to convey this week at Role/Reboot, how amazed I am by what we did this election, and how scared I am by the work ahead:

Related Post: xkcd on electoral precedent.

Related Post: You guessed it, I’m a privileged white girl.

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Precedent

Polls are really good at one thing, creating jobs for people who like talking about polls:

And this is only but a teaser. Click for full chart.

Similarly, in things that do not matter:

Come on, New York Times, you too?

Related Post: Is it Election Day yet?

Related Post: My Lincoln obsession started early.

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Sunday Scraps 44

1. POLITICS: Presidential candidacies meet the logic of online dating at USA Today. Choose your issues, rank their importance, see who your dream date to the White House is.

2. TWEEN: Who doesn’t love a precocious kid spouting eloquent, passionate, articulated arguments against slut-shaming and rape culture? She’s a rock star.

3. COLBERT: Super fascinating article from the NYT on the many faces of Stephen Colbert. What happens when a fictional character starts meddling in real world politics with real money and real influence?

4. CHO: On Jezebel, Margaret Cho rips her asinine critics to pieces after their body snarking gets out of hand. “I want to punish you with the unforgettable shit you will take to your grave and hurt you long after you are dead in the ground. may my poison bore holes in your dry, decaying bones. I am not proud of this, but it’s just the way this life has made me.”

5. LIBRARY: The Milwaukee Public Library has a new promotional campaign. Copyranter has the scoop.

6. BOOTYCALL: (NSFW!) From Fleshbot, here are pretty logical rules and regs for healthy, happy booty-calling.

Related Post: Sunday 43 = Jimmy Fallon as Russel Brand, movie makeovers, and Private Danny Chen.

Related Post: Sunday 42 = Toddlers on marketing, religious sex toys, Penelope Trunk on abuse.

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If I can’t have fun, nobody can

I’ve had an epiphany: The Republican candidates don’t like having sex. I know it sounds ridiculous (who doesn’t like sex?), but it explains so much! They are all so hell bent on ruining all things other people find pleasurable, that it seems quite clear to me that this vendetta stems from sheer jealousy and confusion. Imagine the kid on the playground who knocks another kid’s popsicle into the dirt because he didn’t have one; that’s what’s happening here.

The Republican candidates, having never had good sex, are baffled by all this pleasurable sex people keep talking about. It doesn’t seem fair, since whatever they’re doing behind closed doors doesn’t sound like nearly as much fun. Jealous, they swat at everybody else’s popsicles until nobody has a delicious treat.

It’s a very Grinch-like mentality; if I can’t enjoy it, than neither can you. From Santorum, “Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that’s okay, contraception is okay. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”

The implication is that sex is not supposed to be had for fun, even with the context of a monogamous, heterosexual marriage! How sad is that?!

In conclusion, it is clear to me that the Republican candidates for President just need to get laid. And good. Any volunteers?

Related Post: Well, Herman Cain seemed to know how to have a good time. Too bad those women he harassed weren’t on board.

Related Post: When I think a politician’s sex life is fair game. Hardly ever.

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Sunday Scraps 39

1. ADOPTION: This New York Times essay by Jennifer Gilmore might just break your heart. She’s trying to adopt, and begins an email chain with a pregnant teen only to watch it all fall apart in a mall diner.

2. SIRI: Big doings at Apple this week. Amanda Marcotte at Slate explains the gendered implications of Siri’s search capabilities, but Gizmodo explains why gender isn’t the issue.

3. LIBRARY: Who is the mystery artist leaving anonymous spectacular paper creations on the desks of European libraries? NPR investigates.

4. XMAS: From WebEcoist, eleven amazing alternative Christmas trees. The spinning fiber optics wins for me.

5. BOOZE: How much booze to consume at your office holiday party? Cut out NYMag’s handy dandy chart and stick to the rules. I suppose you have to know whether your company qualifies as cool or uncool first.

6. REPUBLICAN: This National Post graphic is the best thing I’ve seen yet tracking the rise and fall of the Republican candidates. Who will peak at the right moment?

Related Post: Sunday 38 was pepper-spray memes, 4.74 degrees of separation and Australian marriage equality ads.

Related Post: Sunday 37 was Beyonce titles, Questlove interview, and the Alan Cumming cologne.

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“Those boundaries end outside of one’s bedroom door”

I hate defending Republicans, I really do. Nothing galls me more than being backed into a corner because the media is overreaching and the values I espouse are suddenly needed to protect the GOP. It happened a few months ago with that moronic “book” (it really doesn’t deserve the label) that referenced Sarah Palin and Glen Rice. It happened again last week when The Roots played “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” as Michelle Bachmann walked on stage on Jimmy Fallon. And here we are again, and this time I’m defending Herman Cain. Sigh.

When the Palin/Rice rumors started flying, I laid out my ground rules for when judging the sex lives of politicians is appropriate:

1. Did they abuse their power? (i.e. sleep with employees, use sex to curry political favor)

2. Did they break a law beyond the archaic ones about adultery? (i.e. soliciting a prostitute after you’ve thundered on about cracking down on vice, sexual assault, etc.)

3. Did they misuse the trappings of their office? (i.e. spend taxpayer money to fly to see a mistress)

A few weeks ago, Herman Cain’s sex life was my business (and the media’s) because it was alleged that he broke Rule 2. Sexual harassment is a crime, and a candidate’s criminal record is absolutely fair game. But today, a story emerged about a potential 13 year affair. As quickly as that, it’s no longer my business. As much as family values hypocrisy slays me, I’m not willing to condone the inclusion of the sexual behavior of consenting adults into the campaign dialogue. It’s a slippery slope that we’re already halfway down, and I’d rather not nudge us any further into the abyss.

The Cain campaign agrees:

“This is not an accusation of harassment in the workplace – this is not an accusation of an assault – which are subject matters of legitimate inquiry to a political candidate. Rather, this appears to be an accusation of private, alleged consensual conduct between adults – a subject matter which is not a proper subject of inquiry by the media or the public. No individual, whether a private citizen, a candidate for public office or a public official, should be questioned about his or her private sexual life. The public’s right to know and the media’s right to report has boundaries and most certainly those boundaries end outside of one’s bedroom door.”

Damn… couldn’t have said it better myself.

Related Post: “With a dot on his forehead.” Republican candidate David Williams thinks KS Governor Steve Beshear is unamerican.

Related Post: Scott Brown’s Cosmo posing has nothing to do with his candidacy. Elizabeth Warren should know better.

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Michelle Bachmann and the Politics of “Bitch”

This week on The Good Men Project I wrote about Michelle Bachmann’s appearance on Jimmy Fallon this week. As you may be aware, the in-house band (The Roots) accompanied her march on stage with an incomprehensible version of Fishbone’s “Lyin’ Ass Bitch.” I’m no fan of Bachmann’s, but I still think this crosses a line. Here’s why:

Related Post: DADT is one of those things that Bachmann and I disagree on. What if your partner deployed, and you couldn’t say I love?

Related Post: What’s in a name? Here’s my GMP post about modern naming conventions.

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The Art Project Candidate

On her show, Rachel Maddow has made a pretty convincing case for Herman Cain’s entire presidential run being a piece of performance theater. You can watch the whole clip (15 minutes) here, but I think the first three minutes and the Pokemon rip-off almost seal the deal on their own.

It’s a fun game. Ask yourself how far you think a candidate could push a campaign towards absurdity, and still retain substantial American support. What if he quoted Pokemon lyrics and prefaced it with a “a great poet once said”? What if he pronounced Uzbekistan as “Uzebeki-beki-stan-stan”? What if he claimed to have come up with a tax structure based off of SimCity? Would people still follow him? Would the media still pretend he’s legit? If the answer to all of those hypotheticals was yes (which it clearly is), what could he do next?

What if he wore overalls on the campaign trail and called it an homage to the heartland?

What if I insisted on back-up dancers singing doo-wop during his stump speech?

What he proposed establishing a new denomination of dollar bill (the $25?) and putting Crispus Attucks’ face on it?

There must be a line somewhere, a point at which the public will snap out of the surface-level infatuation, but clearly we haven’t found it yet. I don’t really believe Maddow’s supposition is true, but oh how hilarious if it were. And sad, for all of us.

Related Post: Notes on sexual hypocrisy and politics.

Related Post: Why are women like parking spaces?

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